An Underutilized Tool For Healthy Parenting
A unique approach to raising happy, confident, and resilient children.
Every person in the world has access to a simple (yes, simple) tool, or “Inner technology” that will help them become the person they want to be.
This means it will support you in becoming a better parent.
And no this isn’t a method or style of parenting.
It actually has nothing to do with you parenting your child.
Instead, it has everything to do with parenting you.
And that thing is Inner Child Work.
What Is “Inner Child Work?”
Your brain and heart are both receivers and receptors for electromagnetic impulses of energy.
You receive electromagnetic impulses of energy — data from the outside world — and interpret them best to make sense of your environment.
This is a natural process for everybody, and it begins as soon as you enter the womb and connect the conscious mind to the physical brain.
As we grow up, a lot of the interpretations we make, or “conclusions” about reality become significant barriers or limitations.
Here’s a short story to illustrate my point:
I once had a client who came to me saying she wanted to gain confidence in her ability to stick to her decisions.
She would make a decision for herself like, “I am going to stick to my diet today” and would be easily influenced by her friends at work to go out to a restaurant for lunch instead.
It wasn’t just small decisions like this, but a myriad of them that constantly put her own well-being on the back burner.
I asked her why she always put herself last, and she said,
“I just want people to like me. I don’t want to lose anybody.”
This feeling of insecurity even showed up in her relationship with her kids.
She would struggle with disciplining them because she didn’t want to make them hate her.
This was getting in the way of her overall enjoying her life and creating the results she wanted, so she decided to reach out to me to see if hypnosis would help her with the challenge.
During our session, I decided it was necessary to do timeline regression: A process that resolves childhood emotions that are still affecting the mind of the adult.
It is fundamentally created to discover where limiting beliefs and patterns may have been picked up, so it involves being in a trance and revisiting childhood memories.
During the session, she went back to a memory that she had completely forgotten about.
It was the first or second day of her pre-k school year, and she was at the playground during recess, and instead of playing with the other kids, she was sitting down by herself.
I asked her why she was sitting down by herself she said, “Because the other kids don’t like what I like. They like other stuff.”
I followed up with, “How do you know they don’t like the same stuff?”
“Because my stuff is not as good as their stuff.”
I didn’t expand on what she meant by stuff, but I asked her an important question.
“And what are you making this moment mean?”
“I have to like what other people like to be their friend.”
THAT is what I mean by us picking up limiting beliefs in childhood.
We experience events and come to our own conclusions about what those events mean.
This meaning-creation process is what creates someone's core beliefs about themselves, and these beliefs then influence the emotions one feels, which influence the actions one takes — creating the results they have.
Most of these decisions happen at a young age.
After working with hundreds of people using hypnosis and timeline regression, I’ve seen that nearly every one of their problems is rooted in experiences that occurred between the ages of 3–12.
Inner child work (not hypnosis) helps you address these parts of yourself so you can reframe your childhood perspectives — or change your undesired beliefs about reality that were likely made growing up.
When you reframe and release long-held perspectives from childhood, you release the “emotional charge” that came with it.
“Freeing up” more room so to say, for you to live the life you want
Why This Matters In Parenting
If you aren’t making the decisions you need to make to be who you need to be for your kids, you probably feel too “insecure” to do so — or unsafe.
For example. If you know you need to work on your anger problems so you aren’t taking them out on your kids but you aren’t making the decision to actually do it then it’s likely because you don’t feel safe enough feeling your anger.
Ongoing states of anger are usually byproducts of being hurt as a young kid and not being able to process the emotions in the moment of the hurt, so you created this pattern of anger to protect yourself from feeling that emotion again.
So if there is anything getting in the way of you being the parent you want to be, like your own mental and emotional conflicts, then making peace with your inner child may be the thing that changes everything for you.
Being your best comes from feeling safe, feeling unhindered by any thoughts of insecurity will lead to you feeling your best.
When you feel your best you make the best decisions for yourself and your kids. Period.
Internal safety is the name of the game.
When you feel safe you have no trouble stepping into the version of yourself you’ve always desired to be for yourself and your kids.
Internal safety is not for the weak.
Internal safety is a human need.
When it goes unfulfilled, life becomes riddled with insecurities because you don’t feel secure.
Inner child work helps you create a deep sense of security and safety that was likely missing from childhood.
(I’ll show you how to do this for yourself in a minute by the way!)
Before I do that, let me tell you why this process is extremely effective.
Why This Works
If you’re even considering giving inner child work a real go, I need to first tell you why this actually works.
“People don’t buy without a reason why” — as the famous Simon Sinek says, right?
Reason #1 — It creates internal safety and security.
I covered this already, but again, Safety is a sense of security, and that allows one to live a full life and be the best version of themselves.
Reason #2 — It reprograms your subconscious mind.
Inner child work literally reprograms your subconscious mind and creates brand new neural pathways (the clusters of cells that control your thoughts and behaviors.)
The subconscious mind stops maturing around five years of age.
This is why our subconscious mind is literally like a little kid.
It takes everything literally, doesn’t know what’s right or wrong, and doesn’t question anything.
In this way, your subconscious is a “younger” version of yourself.
We all have an inner child, this is a very real part of us — a psychological structure created by beliefs from our childhood.
Our subconscious minds “maintain” or “hold onto” these beliefs, and when you do inner child work and imagine yourself addressing a child version of yourself — you have a very real impact on the subconscious mind.
How Your Kids Benefit From This
“How does this impact your children directly?”
Every thought, emotion, and action you experience leaves an imprint on the psyche of your child from the moment they gain consciousness in the womb.
This is due to something called “Mirror neurons.”
These are clusters of cells inside of our brain that cause us to model those around us, which is how every child learns their first behaviors and mental models.
Studies show that when we observe somebody experiencing a certain emotion, we begin activating the same neurons responsible for that emotion too.
So if you are experiencing a lot of emotional and behavioral challenges, then your child is observing you and learning how to create the same patterns.
Therefore when you work on yourself and become the best version of who you can be, your children benefit because they begin training their minds for better ways of being.
Do you see now, why resolving your emotional conflicts is the best thing you can do not only for yourself but for your children as well?
A Powerful Inner Child Exercise That You Can Do Right Now
Now that you understand the significance of inner child work not just for parenting, but for life overall, then you may be ready to do some of this work for yourself.
If so, I wanted to share a practice that I use with all of my clients, and it has easily been the most impactful part of the work I get to do with them.
I created a guided version (only 24 minutes) that you can download for FREE by simply clicking here!
I’m curious, have you ever done inner child work?
If so, let me know! If not, download the guided inner child process here, and then let me know how your experience went in the comments below!